Friday, March 26, 2010

Drake's Tales - The Big Idea

I want to tell your stories. They'll all be true... mostly. For one thing, all the stories will be feature either John or Judy. Even if your name is Drewbert, I'll be changing it to John for the purposes of telling your story (which would be a shame, really, because Drewbert is a hilarious name). I'll even be telling some stories from my own life, if I run out of interesting stories from other people, but you won't really know if they're mine because they'll be about John.

Also, I'm taking all kinds of creative license. I'll do my best to keep your story as true as I can, but if I need random details, I'm adding them. I may describe the shocked look on your mom's face when you came in the house with your pants on backward, but that's just because you forgot to mention that your mother was upstairs with the postman at the time. I won't change the details you tell me, but I'll embellish at will.

One thing that's exceedingly important - if your story includes illegal crap that could still get you arrested, do yourself a favor and don't tell me about it. As much as I would love to tell the hilarious story of that one time when you cut up a body and lost the left arm in a gas station unisex bathroom, the first time some police officer asks me for details, I'll sell you directly down the river. I'm no priest, doctor or lawyer, and I'm not going to do time just because you weren't smart enough not to tell me about the night that got your face on America's Most Wanted.

And finally, there's the legal garbage. If you email me your story and I write it up, you can't sue me for royalties. You're granting me permission to relay that story to anyone who might read it, even if I manage to make a couple bucks at it one day. I'm not sending you a check for your titillating tale of college hijinks, even if you managed to put a VW Bus on top of the Empire State Building. Newspapers and magazines might pay their sources, but I'm not a newspaper, I'm a dork with an email address.

So if you want to let me tell your story, send me an email. Your story doesn't have to be funny - it could be frightening, exciting, or sad. It could be a silly tale about your first kiss, or it could be about the time you raced ostriches in Kenya while being chased by smugglers on jet skis. Give me as much or as little as you want, and I'll spin you a yarn. My email address is:

I'll put up a story a week, even if I have to write about my vasectomy surgery.


  1. The problem as I see it is that if people are no good at committing their hilarious anecdotes to paper and instead require (an admittedly talented) scribe to type them up, then how are they ever going to get around to type up their stories and email them to you?

    Seems like you got yourself a contradiction.

    Besides, your time would be better spent reviewing the Last Night on Earth expansions seen as your effusive review persuaded me to buy the original and now I regard it the same way some people do the Sistine Chapel.

  2. Well, Last Night on Earth is an admittedly awesome game. Unfortunately, I don't have the expansions, and Dogstar Games doesn't carry them, and Flying Frog won't give them to me. So I just play the original.

    I've actually had a fair number of contributions, and get more all the time. Some of the stories are written very well, but it's still fun to rewrite them.

    So it's working so far. Knock on wood.